Flashback Friday: Going Bald!

I remember this moment like it was yesterday! My hair suddenly started coming out in clumps so my lovely hairdresser Missy, came into her closed salon on a Monday to take it all down. I liked it so much better than the clumpy hairdo that I was definitely not rocking - really makes a gal look sickly! Weird, liberating and scary all at the same time. But that's cancer for you!

Bald Solidarity!

I finally gave in and shaved Hil's head after months of her begging me to allow this act of solidarity. I simply couldn't bear it at the beginning of chemo as it only represented illness to me. But now that I'm on the other side of that part of treatment and feeling much better physically and emotionally, I volunteered to give her the Buddha look she was desiring a few nights ago (thank you Amy & Matt for the shaver!).  I am over the moon with her new look and this immense act of love and support! Here's a few more pics that I captured of her today. WOW, right?!

A nod to a true beauty...

In contemplation as always...

With our backyard Buddha. Lots of prayers these days...

Thanks to Buddha for answering our prayers...

A WORD FROM HIL... 

I've been so touched by Yog's bravery throughout this entire breast cancer journey and especially her willingness to embrace her beautiful baldness by walking out courageously in public without any hair covering.  Throughout this process, I have noticed how people, both young and old, would stare at her and I just wanted to protect her and shield her from all judgement.  So when in choosing to shave my head, I wanted to not only provide a buffer for her but to also walk in unity with her in as much as I could, not having gone through the experience of cancer, myself.  I also wanted to know what it was like to walk in her shoes, if only through the semblance of a bald head.  And since last Thursday, which was B-day (no, not birthday but rather my personal Bald-day) I have undergone an enormous emotional and spiritual change.  What was intended as a supportive gesture to Yog has ended up being a wonderful gift to me.  I feel stronger, more powerful as a woman, more vulnerable, and feel stripped of some of my ego. I never expected to receive the gifts I have from this simple act of a head shave but I'm glad I did it and am glad that Yog was the one to shave it for me....She is the brave one!

The Bald Truth

To the 4 kids and their mom in the blue Honda CR-V in the Trader Joe's parking lot:

The next time your kids yell out rude comments from your car window at the bald lady (AKA, chemo/cancer patient) pushing her grocery cart through the parking lot, PLEASE.DO.NOT.MAKE. FUN.OF.HER!! Instead, why don't you 'parent up' and make this a 'teachable moment' in lieu of allowing your little angels this disgraceful behavior. SHAME.ON.YOU! And, while you're at it, you should also not look directly at the bald lady (that would be me!) and start laughing with your kids before quickly rolling up your window!

Oh, and here's another little insight for you CR-V mom - you will, at some point in time, be afflicted by this epidemic called breast cancer! If it's not YOU, it may be your daughter that was sitting next to you in the car in 15 years that receives this diagnosis. Or, it may be your mom, sister, cousin, best friend or neighbor that has to endure this atrocious and hellish disease.

Truth told, do you not think that I already don't feel emotionally drained from this experience that I have had to withstand for the past year? 20 years? Do you think that I am feeling at my physical best during this cancer gig? Do you know how horribly difficult this past year has been on my life, my partner's life, my sister, my mom, cousins, friends and neighbors?

Will you laugh then when your own life is impacted by the doctor saying - "I'm sorry to tell you, but you have breast cancer - AGAIN!?" Will you stop your sons from making fun of your mother, daughter-in-law, sister, daughter? Will you look the other way to try and hide your snickering then? OR...... might you take the high road and impart some thoughtful and mindful wisdom while showing some compassion and sensitivity as a conscious parent?

Just asking.

Standing on the Corner of BALD St. and CHEMO Ave.

No, I did not plan this one bit. In fact, I didn't even notice this sign when Hil and I went to Ojai a couple of weeks ago for one of our 'Sunday drives.' We simply wanted to be out in the sunshine and after stopping at a new outdoor cafe for a break and a small bite to eat, we returned to our car to keep heading down the road when we noticed it. We both gasped, laughed and immediately she wanted a pic of me right under my new street sign. We couldn't believe the coincidence (HA!) of standing on this corner at this time in my life - baldness down one street and chemo down the other. Clearly, a salute and a bow to this journey.

Go Bald or Go Home!

Disclaimer: Results not typical. Some models are paid professionals - HA!

When I say that I NEVER thought that in my lifetime I would be personally touched by baldness, I mean never! But as of late, there seems to be a bald invasion that I am now surrounded by.

So, now I find myself in a unique position that involves the skin on my head that I haven't seen since my baby pictures five decades back. Then a couple of weeks ago, I received this card in the mail from Hil's family, spearheaded by her older brother Marcus (yes, the same brother that I made look at my post-mastectomy chest right after surgery because I simply couldn't peek myself). Hey, he's a professional 'boob guy' from his earlier days as a medical device engineer for breast cancer detection. Who better to have a looky-loo than him? P.S. He thought it looked "REALLY good - awesome in fact!"

But, in between parenting and working 60 hour weeks with his own engineering company, Marcus somehow found the creative time and the wholeheartedness to photoshop a picture of everyone in Hil's family sporting their baldness in support of my own. Seriously? This so sparked simultaneous laughter and tears. But here's the kicker, I quickly found out that not everyone on the card was Photoshopped!

Say what?

The gals of course all still have their locks (minus 10" of Hannah's hair that she donated) and in spite of the fact that Hil keeps offering to shave her head to be on 'Team Yog!' (I just can't have her do it). BUT... the boys (big and small) have all shaved their heads in honor of my own baldness. Wow! Now that's a crazy-bald-love-fest right there.

Nate (Hil's younger brother), has been rocking the near-bald-look for the last year or so, but even more so now as he and I have been threatening to have a 'Who Wore It Better' bald head competition. So, I think I may just need to open the poll to all the boys in the family now.

Bottom line, I was genuinely touched by the card, the love and the nod to my new chrome dome courtesy of chemo. And if I'm going to have a bald posse by my side, this one's a pretty great one to have!