A Tamoxifen Vacation?! This is So Genius!

That's right, you heard it! I heard it! The words rolled off my oncologist's tongue as if I were in a slow motion movie. "Leeeetttt's puuuut yooouuu ooooonnn aaaaa 'Taaaammmooooxiiiifen Vaaaacaaatiooon' fooor siiiix weeeeks."

"WHAT?!" Just like that? I did a double take at Dr. G. and then to Hil and then to my mom. Did he just say a 'Tamoxifen Vacation?' Excuse me everyone, but I've gotta get home immediately and start packing my bags because I'm going on a vacation!

So, here's how it played out. After months of ongoing side effects with the newest, heightened one of peeing and pooping my pants at home AND in public, I couldn't take it any more. I had fallen into a crater of medication issues, a side-effects-depression and was now at an impasse and I wanted it settled immediately.

As my mom, my partner Hil and I sat in Dr. G.'s medical room waiting for him a mere 3 weeks ago, I was silently reviewing how I would bring up the Tamoxifen issues. My thoughts were swimming around in my head: Stay classy Yog. Put on your big girl pants. Simply explain the concerns. Inquire about alternatives. But as soon as Dr. G. walked in the room with his resident Sawyer, this is how the conversation actually went down:

Dr. G: Hey! Do you mind if our resident Sawyer joins in on our appointment?
Me: No. Come on in Sawyer!
Mom: (reaching out her hand to Sawyer) Oh, as in Tom?
Everyone: Bwahahahaha!!
Me: Sorry Sawyer.
Dr. G: (sitting on his rolling doctor stool looking at Hil) Bad-ass hair cut Hilary!
Hil: Thanks Dr. G.
Dr. G: So, how's it going?
Me: Can we talk Tamoxifen Dr. G?
Dr. G: (Smiling) Sure. What's going on?
Me: (looking at Sawyer). I know I don't know you Sawyer, so please excuse me for what I'm about to say.
Sawyer: Ooookaaay...
Me: (spitting out my words in rapid succession) Dr. G. I'm tired of sh*tting my pants in public places. These side effects are doing me in. But may I say, if there is one place to sh*t your pants in public, may I recommend Walmart? They have everything you need in case this crappy situation happens. (looking at Sawyer) Again, sorry Sawyer.
Dr. G: (waving his hand toward Sawyer) He's heard it all.
Sawyer: Yeah, I've heard it all. This is nothing.
Me: Thanks Sawyer. So, what are we gonna do Dr. G. What are my options?

As the conversation continued, I was quickly trying to read Dr. G's response but didn't have to wait very long before he said, Well, this is no way to live, so let's put you on a 'Tamoxifen Vacation' for six weeks and let's see what happens.

Wha, What?! Really? Just like that? Well, ok then.

After 3 1/2 years of getting to know Dr. G., he knows me well enough to give it to me straight. It's just how we both roll and this time was no different. No beating around the bush, carefully choosing your words and talking to me in a nice, calm, soothing yet annoying voice. Just tell it like it is. And this is exactly why I adore this man. Other than his brilliance, innovation, great sense of humor, open-mindedness, humbleness and nice Stanford background, I just admire and revere Dr. G. so very much!

So, in a couple more weeks, I'll go back to Dr. G. with the good news that most of all of the dreadful side effects are mostly gone and I've had only 1 sh*t-my-pants episode behind me (pun intended), we'll see what's next. He said that there are 2 other meds we could consider as well as a once-a-month shot, so, I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I'm feeling pretty darn good these days and excited about now a third round of meds to try to keep that damn estrogen-induced-breast-cancer-feeding-hormone at bay. All in all, I'm just hopeful, and that's good enough for me right now.

Cancer Center of Santa Barbara: Walk. Run. Donate.

If there's one way to give back this month, it should definitely be to your local cancer center!

I've been treated at 2 cancer centers over the past 20 years and with this last cancer diagnosis (I emphasize LAST!), I was beyond fortunate to have had amazing care from the Cancer Center of Santa Barbara. From the front desk gals, to the librarian, the 'Wig Guy,' the wonderful chemo nurses (AKA my 'Purple Angels'), my brilliant oncologist Dr. G., the snack lady, my hometown Physician's Assistant, to the financial assistant counselors and the uber kind, nurse navigator Tammy (AKA, my nurse 'GPS'), a cancer center can become a second home to a patient and their family. I know it was for me.

I actually looked forward to going into the CCSB (minus the chemo!) because of the remarkable amount of care that I received. Everyone knew my name and we were often greeted 50 feet away from the reception desk with "Oh no, here comes trouble!" I'm telling you, these people go beyond their job descriptions by showing selflessness, compassion and human kindness. A place where a patient like myself can feel 1000% support and emotionally safe. And oddly enough, one of the most positive places I could turn to during the past 2 years.

So, in light of my own PINKTOBER campaign this month, I highly recommend that you consider putting your pink dollars into your own cancer center community. A place where patients like myself can attend art classes, yoga, pick out free scarves and wigs and a place that assisted me in accessing nearly $35,000 in grant money to pay for all of my infusion treatments in 2013 when I personally ran out of funds.

So.... Give back. Give local. Give now. And while you're at it, consider contributing to my cancer center's  Walk - Run this weekend in Santa Barbara; a great cause indeed.