Welcome 2013!

Cheers! From my iPhone camera to yours!

Happy New Year! Or, as I have been saying, 'Thank you, for the love of God, that 2012 is O.V.E.R.!' And, heeelllloooo 2013! 

To the bitter end, (and by bitter, I mean sour, brutal and down-right ridiculous!) 2012 proved to be the year of digging deep for that inner strength in spite of the obstacles staring me right square in the eye. But luckily now, it is indeed, a thing of the past. Thank you Buddha! 

Moving on.

So now that the year of hell is behind me, 2013 has already and seemingly reminded me, that fresh starts are undoubtedly SUHWEET! So, if you'll excuse me for a brief paragraph to quote all of those cliches that absolutely ring true, here I go: When one door closes, another one opens. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth... not going all the way and not starting. You will never win if you never begin.

So, there you have it. My New Year's message to myself and to all of you. May you all be blessed with love, health and healing. I know I have and am forever grateful for the past and the greatness that has already come my way. 

2012: A Year in Review

Really Facebook?! You know my top '20 Biggest Moments' from 2012?!

This short phrase that has been sitting on my Facebook home page, begging me to click on it for at least 2 weeks, turned out to be a total bust (pun intended). Here I was contemplating over this concept myself, reflecting back on this year while I kept fluffing it off until a few days ago when curiosity got the best of me.  Finally, I went out on a limb and hovered my curser over that darn phrase... held my breath and..... click!

NOTHING! Seriously. Nothing happened! In fact, all that came up was a blank, white page. Where were my top 20 'Biggest Moments?' Did I not have anything of value for 2012 in Facebook's eyes? Was I not worthy of 20 moments? Did I not deserve to know how Facebook judged my life? Hell, they can supposedly tell me who is looking at my profile and timeline, and promised me 20 big moments for 2012 but then gave me only a blank, white page!

All of this huffing, contemplating and internal strife for nada! All of the avoidance of clicking on what Mark Zuckerberg thought were my top 20, biggest moments of 2012, and I get nothing?!  Well $#%!&! you Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg, I've got moments! So, in one last ditch effort, I clicked on that phrase again today and VOILA! Finally, my top 20 moments appeared in a separate timeline. Ex.cept..... there were only 16 and one of them included a shared picture link from a friend who wanted me to see a colorful ad for some gluten-free play doh.

Again, I say to Facebook and to you Mark - REALLY?! Well, I have at least 20 big moments that include more than play doh! In fact, I'll name them right here and now and only keep them to 20 because... well.... I can. And while I think that gluten-free play doh is a really great concept, here are a few notions for your Menlo Park nerds to ponder in your logarithmic minds about my life:

1.   I secured an amazing 'Healing Dream Team' for my health
2.   I wrote 2 grants in my jammies while going through chemo and recovering from major surgery
3.   I made most all of my Christmas gifts this year in between treatments
4.   I helped my nephew chart out his summer plans to work for a minor league baseball team
5.   I helped my pregnant niece figure out what to do for her severe nausea in her first trimester
6.   I endured 6 rounds of chemo in 18 weeks
7.   I returned to work part-time while still going through treatment every 3 weeks
8.   I pulled out of a lymph node biopsy with flying colors
9.   I recovered from a double-mastectomy with stellar strength
10. I recovered from stage I of reconstruction surgery with brut strength and endurance
11. I did laps around the nurses' station in less then 24 hours after both surgeries
12. I returned to seeing a handful of private clients on a weekly basis in between treatments
13. I returned to work 2 weeks after my final reconstruction surgery
14. I wrote a third grant in my jammies just last month
15. I kept up with this blog when there were days when I could barely sit upright
16. I rekindled old friendships
17. I nurtured new and old friendships
18. I kept up with my 'gratitude journal' nearly every night this past year
19. I laughed whenever I could so that I would not cry my eyes out
20. I helped my sweet little doggie cross over to the 'Rainbow Bridge' when I didn't want to let him go

And there you have it Facebook, my top '20 Biggest Moments of 2012!' BOOYAH!! Oh, and Happy New Year to you too!

Chemo #5: On the Home Stretch!

Me rockin' my Sponge Bob beanie next to my rock star chemo nurse, Martha

Yesterday's chemo #5 had so many special moments wrapped up into one that I hardly know where to start.

For obvious reasons in my family's mind, yesterday marked 14 years since my dad unexpectedly passed away.  And as he always used to say, "All the best and most important things happen in June... Father's Day, Flag Day and my birthday!" So, of course he timed it so he passed away in June. Just one more time to prove his point of the significance of this month so of course, I dedicated this treatment to him, his strength, his humor and sensitivity. I knew he was by my side as both tears and laughter hit me throughout the day.

On another note, it was my niece Maddie's 5th birthday (Hannah's younger sister) who is psyched to be aging slightly as she is gearing up for Kindergarten in the fall. A fun yet slightly nervous anticipation for her.

And as kids go, I decided to sport a beanie that my 11 year-old neighbor, Sam brought over to me. In fact, he traipsed across the driveway about a month ago with a basket full of groovy yet boyish beanies for me to borrow for my head. I finally came down to 2 of them and made my way back across to his house a few days ago asking him which one I should wear for my next treatment as I held them both up for his final viewing and vote - "Flames or Sponge Bob?" And without an ounce of hesitation, he just gave me a firm nod from across the room and said "Sponge Bob!" So, there you have it. And may I also say that I have never received so many complements from the cancer center staff and fellow chemo-mates about my headgear as I did yesterday.

And as usual, Julie-Bunny did a quick surprise drive by to say a loving hello and to hold my hand during the infusion as Hil took a quick break for herself. So, we kicked her out yet again with her Kindle in hand for some prime reading time. But as always, Julie brought a bundle of love and care along with a video from her boys who keep sending me awesome songs to lift my spirits. They are such talented young boys and I simply love the sweet gesture and their costumes (leather jackets, bling & caps). So, we sent one back two days ago and apparently we are now in a video sing-off with this testosterone trio. Bring it on boys, we're ready!

All in all, it was a pretty good chemo day. Great staff, my dad by my side, a new arm to poke and infuse and my old meds to help with the 'ol nausea. So, pray to the Chemo Gods for me that this round goes much easier and that I'll be up and ready to roll for my last chemo on July 17th!

Fun with Frankel!

A good friend (thank you Sydney!) and chemo veteran said to me nearly two months ago, "You've got to find some fun things to do when you feel good!" Within an hour, I went online and applied to go to the new Bethenny Frankel Show produced by Ellen. "Hmmm" I thought, "This could qualify as fun." It's free, I think Bethenny is fun herself and I hope to drink one of her Skinny Girl margaritas by the end of summer.

A few weeks later, I got a call from the Ellen Degeneres Show stating that if I wanted two tickets to the new summer show, guaranteed tickets to see Ellen in the Fall, and a chance at attending one of her '12 Days of Christmas' shows then they were mine.

Pause.... (2 seconds) - "Uh, yeah" Mr. Audience Director, "Sign me up!"

So, the timing as I had hoped, worked out uber perfectly. Rough week last week... rested all day Monday... hopped in the car yesterday and headed to Burbank at 8:45 in the morning (showered AND dressed!).

The process went fairly easily (minus Hil misplacing her studio ticket minutes before our group got called up) as there was a buzz of excitement throughout the several hour wait.  And the estrogen-fest in the holding tank made for some good people-watching before we all made our way into Stage 1 at Warner Bros Studio.

Once inside, I forgot all about cancer, chemo, burnt veins and my bald head as my focus immediately shifted to a frenzy of screaming, clapping and dancing with 200 of my newest gal-pals. The 'Crowd Guy' quickly got everyone onto their feet and explained to us the dos and don'ts of the show and the commercial breaks were filled with dance-offs and giveaways.

Suddenly I was consumed by Stiletto Defense Classes, Dancing With the Stars' Maksim's shyness with women and bathing suit makeovers (love the new knit pants trend!). The Skinny Girl bartender (6 feet away) even provided Bethenny with a margarita and a straw to sit on Maksim's very fit, table-like derriere that she sipped her cocktail from.

Next thing you know, it's two hours later and I'm beyond exhausted from my newly-found fun and hoopla!  Man, I haven't had a workout like that since last Fall (clapping and standing is exhausting!). And it must have showed because as we were leaving the studio, we ended up chewing the fat with 'Crowd Guy' who not only took our picture but tapped me on the back as we were leaving and flung an Ellen shirt over my shoulder with a 'Here, take this and..... blessings to you!"

WOW! What a day. Note to self, MUST schedule more fun things to do when I'm feeling good. Next adventure....who knows? Maybe I'll take the cancer center up on one of those free glider rides for patients that they offered to me at the onset of treatment. Heck, if I can endure chemo, I'm certain I could soar like an eagle above the mountains.

Stay tuned.

Behind the Wheel Again!

After 12 weeks of riding in the passenger seat with my 'pillow buddy,' I finally put my big-girl pants on and hopped into the driver's seat (BY MYSELLLLF!). I felt like a newly licensed 16 year old (circa 1976), that was finding any excuse to run an errand for her parents. First stop, an acupuncture visit, then a quick stop to the post office, chiropractor and back to the acupuncturist to pick up my herbs. Whoa, what freedom! I cranked up the music, sang my heart out and hit the open road (ok, so I only drove the surface streets and mostly left handed!), but the point is, I drove!

Technology & Healing: The Perfect Match

Ever since I can remember, my older sister Kim and I (well, the only sister I have) kind of have our own language. We're not twins, although my mom dressed us alike for years and many people thought we were twins even though we're two years apart.  But we're just like our late father whenever we chat it up. We crack ourselves up at our own repetitiveness, kookiness, goofy jokes, and nicknames (we have the same one for each other - 'sister'). We also have the same off-beat humor and pop out our one-liners like it's the first time we've said it, look at each other and laugh 'til we're crying while everyone else looks at us in a completely baffled and puzzled way. But we could care less. The only bummer of it all is that we live 5 hours apart and so we don't get to see each other often which makes going through this whole cancer gig without my 'sister' a bit of a drag. I so miss her so much, so, we're doing the next best thing - FaceTime baby! She's a computer geek and I'm a Chatty Cathy (hence, the Speech & Language Pathologist job) so FaceTime on our iPhones has really helped us stay connected. It's way more personal than the old fashioned, auditory version of communication of holding our phones up to our ears. Plus, we get to do our sister gig in real time. She's always making me laugh during our face-to-face calls these days which so hurts these wicked breast expanders, but it's so worth it! Maybe we should switch to Skype so I can do my new yoga move when she cracks me up - 'down expanders' when I place my hands on my chest to minimize the pesty pain. But all in all, I'm loving my daily real-time chatter where we can rant, rave, chuckle and yak it up to our hearts content. So, a round of applause to technology (and to my sister) 'cuz as we always say, "that's just how we roll!"