...SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER!

Over the past 20 years, I've been irked, I mean privy to many comments from others and have had the privilege of hearing how other breast cancer survivors deal with the benefits of cancer! Some of these thoughts and comments are those I've heard, those I've experienced and those I've read from other warriors. Let's take a peek, shall we?

"Gee how I just love all the side effects from chemo and meds" SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! It's like having the worst flu of your life - for 1 year! 

"Yes, I just love my new 'girls' - how lucky am I to have had a boob job?!" SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! While it does sound exciting, try laying on your stomach, on a hard or soft mattress with these things!

"Being bald is such a cool hair style to rock!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! Until you're made fun of by a mom and her four kids in the parking lot of Trader Joe's, not such a rockin' moment in hair history and so not a self-esteem booster.

"I just love all of this attention I'm getting!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! Are you kidding me? Someone once said that to me and I about lost my sh*t!

"Well, maybe getting chemo will finally help me lose those extra pounds!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! Please know that the only reason we lose weight is that we are so damn nauseous that we can hardly eat a morsel of food. I personally survived on water, 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes and 2 crackers on any given day. Do you know how few calories that is? 

"I so love that I get to take Tamoxifen for the next 10 years!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! I am now in my second menopausal stint and have gained 30lbs! WEEEEE!

"I'm just going to make this the most positive experience in my life!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! Yeah right! While thinking positive is a common motto for many, it doesn't mean that this gig is still not chock-full of the most challenging and scary experiences. Positivity is just a bonus that we all dig down deep for.

"I'm so glad that it's only breast cancer!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER!  Bwah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

"I've always wanted to wear a wig!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! FYI, they're hot, uncomfortable and itchy-scratchy on a bald head! You try it while being bald and get back to me on this one!

"I'm not afraid to die!"  SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! Let's get real here - we're all afraid to die. We know that this is a possibility and a reality, but we're just not ready to die yet!

"Having cold breasts during hot weather is so awesome and convenient!" SAID NO BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR - EVER! Unless you need to help chill a summer salad or a six-pack, the implants are just that - COLD!