Monday, January 2, 2012

SNAP OUT OF IT! A New Perspective

Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

OK, I must admit that until early this morning, my T Minus 1 mindset had me a little shaken up as I face the first of two surgeries this week for breast cancer. But then I saw on my Facebook newsfeed a TED Talks clip posted from a good friend (thank you Louise!) that as always, was perfect timing (how does she always know what I need to hear?). And just like that, I kind of snapped out of my funk. I mean really, I WILL 'lean into the discomfort' as Ms. Brown suggests and then shake it up, chew it up and spit. it. out! You think I'm kidding? Well, I'm not! While I do realize that breast cancer is a serious matter and 'round 3' has been a tad daunting at times, this go-round is actually providing me with some much needed perspective as apparently I didn't have the right one 'BC' - Before Cancer.

As I head into surgery #1 of the week for a lymph node biopsy (which I KNOW will be negative!), I have been searching for the right mindset. Confused and baffled as to what to think and how to feel, it's clear now. Just do it! And in all reality, how does one properly prepare for what I'm about to face? Lymph nodes. Stitches. Double mastectomy. More stitches. Anesthesia. Reconstruction. Expanders. Implants. Blah. Blah. Blah! It's just too much, so instead, I will simply go with each and every moment, see how I am feeling and face this creature called cancer head on, and in my own way. And as a friend suggested to me just yesterday (thank you Mark!), watching some mindless TV and reality shows will aid me with the realization that these are most definitely a group of people with a real set of problems. At least I will be cancer-free in T Minus 4 days and well, their problems - are for a lifetime.

Take that cancer #3! I am not pretending here. Yes, I am scared as hell, but in my heart-of-hearts, I know I will come out of this even more durable, capable and alive than ever before.

And in the closing words of Ms. Brown's talk - I AM ENOUGH.

1 comment: